The Vatican has been forced to respond following Mayor Flynn's claims that it owes Winton Council £20,000 for the upkeep of an abandoned Barton on Irwell cemetery in Eccles.
A spokesperson for the Vatican, said:
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"Francis (His royal popeiness), was shocked to receive a debt collectors letter in the post which threatened to send bailiffs in if the costs were not repaid in full by Saturday 1st of April.
"The shock lead to an over night stay in hospital for the Pope whilst doctors monitored his blood pressure.
"There were genuine threats to clamp the popemobile until the debt is repaid.
"Francis was furious about the whole ordeal."
The Vatican has strongly denied responsibility for the graveyard via a TikTok video collaboration featuring Lizzo.
Dave Tuttle, spokesperson for the The Gendarmerie (Vatican Police), said:
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"I have not heard such rubbish since so called "Historian", Tony Flynn, claimed that John Paul II had lost the Ark of the Covenant betting on a late night online poker match.
"He later made claims that Benedict XVI was his 'Real Dad'.
"They will try anything that lot, have you seen their Miracle Water scam?"
Local Historian and self proclaimed 'Famous Salfordian', Mr Flynn, told us:
Quote"I won the Ark fair and square after beating JP at poker, he also lost the Holy Grail to me after losing a bet on the nags.
"If they (The Vatican), don't pay up then I will be using the Popemobile for tip runs and such.
"Can you imagine how many crates of lager you could fit in that bad boy?"
It would seem that only an act of God will resolve the situation, however the Vatican has told us that people can donated to their fighting fund via their own online payment processor Papal.
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